Timing

This venture is one that will mark my longest time away from my home, family and the life i've known up to this point. I will, of course, still have my connections to this life through constant contact and updates via e-mail. My replacing and renewing of routines will, i predict, be one of the most challenging things for me. I am not afraid of change and most of the time welcome it, but the grander routines are the ones I feel will upset my balance (momentarily). To explain them is almost impossible, because I cannot pin point them myself yet. It will only be when I am out of element completely and getting used to the new one, that I will notice them. I am not worried about convenience, as I can do well without it. I am more worried about the simple act of seeing my best friend at least once every few days. This routine will be far harder to go without then having my favorite brand of toothpaste. 

I am currently in D.C. awaiting my departure to Kazakhstan on wednesday. I enter into "staging" on tuesday the 18th at 12 noon. There I will check in and have orientation from 2 to 7pm. I have already left the west coast and will not return for some time. I was able to say a good solid farewell to some of my most favorite people, which has made me feel at peace with leaving home. The only chance I wanted to take while I was still at home was left as is. This was a decision based on my intuition to not ask for more but to accept the situation as it is presented to me. As Nick Drake puts it so eloquently "Time has told me, not to ask for more. For one day our ocean will reach its shore." 

Maybe its the idea of leaving my safety net and stepping out into a multitude of challenges that makes me want to latch onto those feelings for someone special in my life. Maybe these feelings have had a long time coming and the culmination of such complex feelings is deemed greater by the timeline. Irregardless, I feel somewhat at peace with my decision to keep my feelings inside, for the time being. This question is really directed at anyone who will read it. 

Have you ever felt an affinity with someone and you just knew that you would be together someday? Maybe not next month or even next year, but someday?  

I feel this wholeheartedly. Its all new to me and I go back and forth in my decision to keep my feelings bottled. In the grand scheme, two years is nothing, but here in this instance it seems like an eternity. 

I feel it all belongs to the timing that the "universe" or what have you provides us. Its hit or miss and those of us what are lucky enough to pay attention and take the shortcuts fate has graciously decided to bestow once in a painfully scarce while, are the real winners.