Staring

I was thinking about different topics I could start covering and one major cultural difference dawned on me. Staring. People here stare, blatantly. Without guilt, shame or any reservation. Granted I am a foreigner and I'm the first that many people here have ever seen. In this context, staring is inevitable and can be excused, somewhat...

However, I've been told on numerous occasions just how "Russian" I look and when I'm dressed just right, I can blend in without any problem.

I become invisible and it's fantastic.

With that being said, I get an even better first hand look at how "staring" factors into life here. I'm not blocked by "being the foreigner".

I've come to discern that in situations where I might discreetly glance or try and look out of my peripherals at something or someone, they simply stare and fix their gaze. In this post "they" refers to the locals around me, both Kazakh and Russian men, women and children. No one is excluded from this cultural difference.

For example, not too long ago I was hanging some clothes out on my balcony one day and I looked down at the playground/courtyard [I

live on the 4th floor] and happened to see two men [young 20s] shouting at each other. There were about 3 people in my view at the time the argument started [One grandmother, one other man and an older girl]. The subject of the argument isn't important, all that really needs to be known is that one young man was yelling quite extensively at the other. This ordeal went on for about 45 minutes. By the end of it, there were close to 30 people standing around watching.

Other men, women and quite a few children. They moved so close I thought someone helping break up the fight was going to say something to them. But no one said a thing.

I thought about this and began to imagine what would happen if this kind of event happened in the states. Would there be 30 people just standing around and STARING?

As for me, I believe not. I started thinking about what I would have done if I had been in close proximity to them. I most definitely would have walked by very quickly and I wouldn't have so much as glanced at the scene happening.

I asked myself, Why? Why do I have such an aversion to even look at this type of situation happening. I came to two different conclusions. One, my personality is such that I really don't like confrontations between other people and I've always been keen to avoid them. The other, is that my "social mores" , hard-wired into my pre-frontal cortex, tell me that I have no right to enter into a private affair of another. No matter how public they make their issue. It's my environment vs. the one I find myself in right now.

This process is fascinating to me. The assumption that they will be angry with me or offended by me if I simply sit and stare at them, is one so strong and powerful that I cannot avoid acting in accordance with it. The environment and culture I have occupied in my 24 years completely dictate how I respond to situations even when I am removed from them. That in itself is pretty incredible.

On the reverse, the same can be said for the locals I find myself living amongst.

This is not to say that people in the states don't stare, but we usually stare from afar. I don't mean to generalize any people group in saying this either, I just know in my experience, blatant staring is a big social mistake. This is something that isn't seen as rude in this part of the world. I'm also not pointing this out as a fault, just as a difference.

I will be posting again soon about some other differences I've been mulling over in my head.

Namely,

-class etiquette

-restaurant/customer service etiquette

-CELLPHONES

-school system [high school]